Officer Jon Goldin, an NYPD helicopter pilot who was dismissed for failing a drug test in 2006, has lost his recent appeal, in which he maintained that the cocaine found in his system was the result of "passive ingestion." In other words, the hair sample they tested was coked up because of all the sweaty sex with his druggie girlfriend! (Kind of reminds us of that Seinfeld poppy seed muffin episode!) But when the all snickering subsides, the explanation actually starts to seem somewhat plausible; Goldin, a 15-year veteran of the NYPD who's been straight-edge for years, had 70 friends testify about his relentless sobriety, which even extends to caffeine.


