February 3, 2004
Chuck Klosterman, Senior Writer for Spin
The Basics
Age and occupation. How long have you lived here, where did you come from, and where do you live now?
Journalist. I moved here in May of 2002 from North Dakota (via Ohio). I live in Manhattan.
Three For Thee
1. You, CHUCK KLOS-TER-MAN, have a strong, solid name - a name of the Gods. When someone says your name and you're not around, does the earth move and rumble beneath your (and their) very feet?
I'm not sure if this is actually a question. (Ed.- Perhaps not a "good" question but it is punctuated properly. The answer I was looking for is: "Hells yeah, just like the gigs my high school metal band, Fortinbraus, used to play.")
2. I am envious of your career -- author of hit novels, senior writer for Spin, pirate-chronicler for Esquire, etc. Can I have your life for a month?
Would I still be able to check my e-mail? If so, yes.
3. In a battle to the death, who would win: Storm Shadow or Boba Fett, both rogue warriors, though neither pirates? And what song would best accompany the fight scene?
This is complicated. Boba Fett has a spaceship that looks like an iron from a Ramada Inn, so he might have the early advantage. However, Storm Shadow might use ninja stars, which is racist. What exactly are they fighting over? I sure hope it isn't drugs. ANYWAY, the best song for such a battle is obviously "Hobo Humpin' Slobo Babe" by Whale.
Proust-Krucoff Questionnaire
Time travel question: What era, day or event in New York's history would you like to re-live?
Three days ago, when I lost my scarf at Crif Dog.
9pm, Wednesday night - what are you doing?
Last Wednesday at 9 pm, I was in an argument about what would happen if Batman joined the Black Panther Party. But this is the exception, not the rule.
What's your New York motto?
"... to a certain extent." This is because virtually every phrase becomes factual if you add the words 'to a certain extent' at the end of the sentence.
Best celebrity sighting in New York, or personal experience with one if you're that type.
When I went to "28 Days Later," I thought I was sitting in front of Ally Sheedy. As it turns out, it wasn't her ... but when I mentioned this anecdote to someone later that day, he misheard me and assumed I had watched the film with the *real* Ally Sheedy. So instead of correcting him, I made up this big elaborate lie about overhearing Ally Sheedy talk about "28 Days Later" on her cell phone, and then I told this lie to maybe five other people, too. Does this count? Oh, I've also seen boxing historian Bert Sugar and United Nations Secretary General Kofi Annan, and both of them were buying non-carbonated beverages (which says a lot, I think).
Describe that low, low moment when you thought you just might have to leave NYC for good.
I like it here.
Just after midnight on a Saturday - what are you doing?
Watching public access television.
Finish one of the four following sentences:
1) "Outside of his building, on E. 9th Street, Chip took money from Enid and...
immediately got into a debate with some semi-employed hipster who thinks pretending to be unimpressed by this novel somehow makes them smart.
Who do you consider to be the greatest New Yorker of all-time?
Lew Alcindor: definitively NYC in every possible way (physically, intellectually, personally, etc.)
What happened the last time you went to L.A.?
I found myself in a room with four women, all of whom had incredibly obvious breast implants. And it was a Kinkos. And two of them worked there.
Medication: What and how much do you take?
Everything is medicinal, to a certain extent.
Of all the movies made about (or highly associated with) New York, what role would you have liked to be cast in?
Any member of the Baseball Furies.
If you could change one thing about New York, what would it be?
I think the bars should stay open later, and I think there should be more people blogging about the media. Oh, and people should be generally crazier.
The End of The World is finally happening. Be it the Rapture, War of Armageddon, reversal of the Sun's magnetic field, or the Red Sox win the World Series. What are you going to do with your last 24 hours in NYC?
I would quit drinking.
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Umm... Why is some one who has lived in NYC less than 2 years being interviewed about New York? That's who you call a New Yorker? GET REAL!
I had no idea being called a New Yorker was contingent on getting *tenure.* Here I had thought it was simply about living there. Silly me.
no, it's about tenure.
hold on, yesterday i'm told lockhart steele is a blogger and now "north dakota" isn't part of new york?? isn't NoDa wedged somewhere downtown between a noodle shop and tattoo parlor? yikes. but kris, don't worry that new york state of mind of yours. the "young manhattanite" interviews are focusing on people of all ages and boroughs who live here. it will be interesting to see the answers for someone who has only lived here 2 months. you'll be happy to know on friday we are featuring a teacher who is a life-long staten islander!! for real. we're getting real real. (that's new york, right? i'll check my subway map.)
as long as you're going to staten island, you should interview charles g. hog's groundhog handler. now that's new york.
i love new yorkers who are new to new york- that's what the city is all about. besides, once you've been here for awhile, you generally turn insane and move to park slope! trust me- it happened to my parents!
g u r g l e.
Being a NEW YORKER is more about a state of mind than GEOGRAPHY! Once a NY'er Always a NY'er --despite living elsewhere. Also, there are levels of NEWYORKERDOM and there is no topping a NATIVE NY'er (regardless of borough)
false ally sheedys are always full of rage
I would love krucoff to interview the groundhog's handler, but apparently his media requests line is busy. Next year, then!
so just this guy has the pop culture knowledge of a comic book store junky and the kinetic mental energy of a monkey on speed, we're supposed to respect his opinions? he eats at fucking crif dogs!
but i like crif dogs- i mean, at least the regular hot dog there. stay away, i repeat, stay away from the vegetarian hot dog- it was like a piece of plastic on a stick.
Any place that takes a hot dog, wraps it in bacon and tops it with cheese AND a fried egg is A-OK in my book.
- 2 cents from a semi-nativesque-NYer.
might want to rethink (abandon) the interview feature. too magazine-ish, i.e. "we dub this and that person/thing cool". gothamist rocks as it is, no interviewing of dweeb nyc newbies necessary. and if interviews 'must' happen, would rather see hardened veteran/native new yorkers rather than newbies who are still suspect.
interesting take RIO, though i'm sure you must at least respect jen and jake's decision to try something new. it's a natural tendency and this medium isn't exactly static. but this doesn't affect what gothamist currently does now. you will still be able to enjoy what you always have. i promise the interview feature won't interfere! but if it sucks, or is boring, then by all means i'll be the first to say kill it.
i don't normally read over-arching commentary on the state of blogging cause i think one should just do it and not talk about it. but i saw this in terry teachout's post on his "about last night" blog the other day. check out #11, who woulda thunk?
8. For now, blogs presuppose the existence of the print media. That will probably always be the casebut over time, the print media will become increasingly less important to the blogosphere.
9. Within a decade, blogs will replace op-ed pages.
10. Blogs will be to the 21st century what little magazines were to the 20th century. Their influence will be disproportionate to their circulation.
11. Blogs are what online magazines were supposed to be.
(coughs politely) Has anyone even read this guy's books? They're the literary equivalent of the cotton swab procedure at a free clinic when you ain't even got a drip. Painful and pointless. Belittling the man because of his place of residence has little to do with his actual worth.
As if, btw, a "real" new yorker debates self re hierarchies, planet alignment, and "inside" menu aberations. Honestly: the interview (and interviewer) blew cool and pointless air, like milton berle's ass. The books are glib, simple, and contribute nothing to man, woman, or dying cat, as with this and the prior 16 notes.
Of course it's stupid. It's three questions, you morons. It's not 60 fucking minutes. Quit posting about how much you hate George Bush (the media, your life, etc.) andall the other worthless opinions on how someone else spends their time.
Chuck klosterman is a, how to grsp at the mendicatn truth witht he lyrical gravitas of the poet? how to say this without sounding judgmental.....? An Idiot. A flaming idiot.
yes, thats about right... A self rightuous asshole .... Flagrent and unapologetic careerist and apologist for yuppie consumer culture. A monkey with horrible taste in music that can't go for more than a few moments without saying something odious and repellant.... But, maybe i should be nicer to the monkey
Testify!
my rule of thumb: the moment one is able to confidently identify "north" upon emerging from ANY subway station, they are a "new yorker."
I'm not jumping in to defend Chuck because he works 40 feet from me everyday. I'm jumping in to defend Chuck because he's actually incredibly witty and brilliant and one of the most clever and enjoyable writers I've ever read. I thought the above interview was hilarious.
I second that. I admire Chuck, love his writing and want to be him when I grow up one day.
i think new yorkers are just naturally territorial depite the fact that everyone either says that they are leaving to move to New York or Cali. You'd think you guys would get used to it. I thought the interview was pretty good, i mean i only just started to read his book and wanted to know more about him. Cheers to the interviewer, don't let any of their crap get to you.
I spent five minutes in New York after the demise of the Trade Towers, and knew "north" immediately upon rising from the subway. But then I guess we're a little better educated here in North Dakota....
I'll tip one to Chuck at Duffy's (conveniently located near the morgue and the jail) next time.
I am the president and co-founder of the Chuck Klosterman fan club. I think this writer is brilliant and so fucking funny. His columns in Spin are always interesting and "Sex, Drugs & Cocoa Puffs" was insightful. I can make some fancy comments on his prose style and all that jazz but when it comes down to it this guy is just a cool guy who happens to write well. I challenge anyone who can write a column or book as good as him. Cheers to Chuck and Krucoff!
As wonderful as it was to hear about who's a real 'NY'er', why 'Native NY'ers' are more 'NY' than other 'newbie dweebs'(sorry, but I think that use of the word 'newbie' qualifies you as a dweeb as well) and the general state of 'New Yorderdom', it might have been maybe better to see some more comments on the interviewer, the subject or the works of the subject. Instead, I got a tour of the city that sadly didn't even include the Baxter Building. It's supposed to be right around the Flatiron Building, right? Sadly, I thought the best anti-Chuck comment came from the dude who called Chuck a 'self righteous asshole' and a 'flaming idiot'. Not because I agree, but because it's one of the few that actually made an attempt, even a developmentally delayed one, to back up his opinion with some evidence. He apparently doesn't like assholes who are self righteous, and the fact that Chuck is a self righteous asshole makes him a flaming idiot, or vice versa. Gold star for that guy.
I happened to read both of Chuck's books and I found them to be very satisfying. I am roughly the same age as Chuck and I am tickled pink that the pop culture that I grew up with is being analyzed and deconstructed in a (mostly) serious manner. I'm sure some people read his stuff and register all of this irony and tongue in cheekiness, but I believe that his books (especially the first) are sincere tributes to the music, movies etc. that he finds most compelling.
Your family is so poor, you go to Kentucky Fried Chicken and lick other peoples' fingers.
Maybe you'll score higher next year?
50 MOST LOATHSOME NEW YORKERS
38
Chuck Klosterman
Critic
KLOSTERMAN ISN'T A loathsome New Yorker so much as a loathsome creation of New York, a North Dakota circus monkey desperately trying to ape the role of an authentic Midwestern, beer-drinking mullet-head. In his excruciatingly stupid collection of essays, Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs, Klosterman declares that Billy Joel is "great," Steely Dan "more lyrically subversive than the Sex Pistols and the Clash combined." The author goes on to compare himself and his yuppie girlfriend to Sid and Nancy because they're both so "self-destructive." Lester Bangs would have vomited down this guy's shirt before shaking his hand.
If the NY Press said it, it must be true.
Why is everyone in NYC so goddamned over dramtic and pretentious?...That's why i'm going back to S.F. or Chicago...Much more hip and accepting than pricks like yourselves!...This is my first time here, and it will also be the last! You can keep NYC and shove it up your asses...
I don't know what the NY Press has against this guy. Their review (or the one they printed about his book) was insane! Well, insanely funny, but also insane. Why do people hate Chuck Klosterman? Is it because he has a job people are jealous of? He's just some geeky writer who's pretty easy to avoid. Most people in this country don't even know who he is, so why do people dispise him so?
Chuck Klosterman may be a bit harsh, but his writing is interesting and clear. Anybody who hates his writing must be a fan of the "so pretentious and vague, it must be the work of a genius" writing style. Also, I agree with Chuck: Coldplay sucks!
Lay offa Klosterman. He changed my life as a journalist. Something not very many people have done.
New Yorker or not, he's still GOD. (And yes, the earth rumbles when I speak his name)
Read a CK article in Esquire, loved it. Read Cocoa Puffs. Loved it. Laughed out loud at least 25 times. He is great in the same way all good artists are great: they have the intelligence to understand, the desire to communicate and the courage to find a voice and use it. I look forward to the made-for-tv drama about his life, the Klosterman candybar, the tribute album and the movie... go Chuck!
You don't have to alltogether agree with everything, or even anything, that Chuck Klosterman says, but if you have any credibility to comment on him, meaning you've actually attempted to read anything he's ever written, you would have at least given him the credit of making good points in his arguments.
While reading S,D,& CPs, I, at times, could not get over how undeniably genius a certain essay was. There were still others when I thought he was taking punches underwater, but I do give credit where credit is due and he definitely gets an E for effort.
If it's any consolation, I'd have to say that we all know that Chuck is at least smarter than most of the nimrods on here. And I quote, "Chuck klosterman is a, how to grsp at the mendicatn truth witht he lyrical gravitas of the poet? how to say this without sounding judgmental.....? An Idiot. A flaming idiot." Spoken by a true insightful genius-- 'vlad'-- in February.
Do us all a favor and study the dictionary a bit next time before signing on here and spouting off opinions we all know you don't have.
No matter what, I'LL ALWAYS LOVE CHUCK KLOSTERMAN!
Chuck Klosterman is open minded and pays attention to the smallest detail. If we all were open minded and payed attention to the little things, then maybe this world and our country would be a better place. Just food for thought.
Chuck, you are one hilarious motherfucker. That is all.
And I agree with Kevin. It's about seeing energy (in the form of humor largely in this case) in life's most mundane, absurd, and even malign daily occurrences. Not per se to be compared directly to the likes of Larry David's work, but the underlying principal I'm confident is identical.
New York is awesome, Jersey sucks, Chuck Klosterman is awesome, Coldplay does suck.
As a non- NewYorker, non-American, indeed, a non-hipster, a lot of things jump out at me off this page.
First, the idea that New York is the centre of all things cool. Well, yes, it's a very interesting city, but- it's a rather large world, and New Yorkers certainly don't have a monopoly on "cool". This idea that one requires tenure to represent New York coolness is laughable. You are a collection of similar people with similar ideas. The technicalities of your geographic origins are largely unimportant.
Secondly, here and in other critiques of Chuck Klosterman's work- this insane jealousy... There's this huge resentment, perhaps because his words trigger a "crap, why didn't I think to write that" response.
I've read all four of his books. He's good. He's smart, he's entertaining. Enjoy it for what it is and get over it, already.
Chuck rules.
Those of you who don't know how to spell, nor know the rules of grammar, should try to restrain yourselves when criticizing someone a bit smarter. “Chuck klosterman is a, how to grsp at the mendicatn truth witht he lyrical gravitas of the poet? how to say this without sounding judgmental.....? An Idiot. A flaming idiot.
yes, thats about right... A self rightuous asshole .... Flagrent and unapologetic careerist and apologist for yuppie consumer culture. A monkey with horrible taste in music that can't go for more than a few moments without saying something odious and repellant.... But, maybe i should be nicer to the monkey”
I personally like Chucks work, but that's not why I'm writing this. If you can't spell, don't be jealous of those who can. Who ever wrote that is in fact, himself/herself a flaming idiot. You idiot