February 2, 2007
Nipple Confusion
Brooklyn author, Jennifer Baumgardner's recent essay "Breast Friends" explores a topic so taboo Gothamist had never actually heard of it before -- "cross nursing" or "milk siblings". In her essay, Baumgardner details her experience nursing a friend's child while that friend nursed hers. And while she initially was shocked and put off by the idea, she has completely warmed to it by the end of her baby swapping experience. Gothamist was a nursing mother at one point, so we've been there, but for the sake of full disclosure, we have not done THAT.
As Baumgardner describes it:
"I took him and rearranged my shirt and bra to expose my breast. Skuli sat on the floor, not seeming to think anything weird was going on. I put Lionel on my chest and he began sucking. The familiar tug made the milk rush in; his sucking strength and style were different than Skuli's, his little face so incredibly sweet. It felt really . . . normal. Anastasia fed Skuli, too, and because he was older and had teeth, she got her first bite."While there are no severe health risks associated with cross nursing (assuming the participants are disease and drug fee), neither are there any benefits. According to the breast-feeding bible, La Leche League Intl, some possible problems include psychological confusion and the lack of best nutrition: "Babies of different ages require a specific composition of milk. Milk from the baby's own mother will provide the exact make-up the infant needs; another mother whose baby is not the same age may not provide the same components."
In the essay, Baumgardner explains how it enhanced the bonding and intimacy between the two mothers. She even suggests that there are other mothers out there longing to swing with their infants too, but too scared to broach the subject. We know that New York City parents are known for outsourcing just about everything, but could wet-nurses be making a comeback? Gothamist Mom informally polled her own cohort of mom friends and got a resounding, "No."
Only the Blog Knows Brooklyn's verdict: "I don't think a baby needs to bond with mom's best friend in this way."
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there's something disgustingly sexual about this and I think it's sick. particularly the fact that these are rich white jewish women who are probably just doing it out of boredom.
lol...matty, you have way way too much time on your hands
So she's running a lactation take-out joint? Put me down for a nip or two around 11.
how does the fact that they are jewish have anything to do with it? please explain, matty.
I don't know but I've heard stories of mothers nursing other mother's babies from way back.
I don't think it's really uncommon, especially if you're poor and need a caretaker.
do you know that jews are responsible for all of the world's wars?
I understand the style for the site, but really, sometimes you have to break form. That line just looks utterly ridiculous.
I know Gothamist always refers to itself in the third person as a person / entity, but in this sentence, it really doesn't make sense.
Seriously.
Especially if you think Jake wrote it.
hmmm
could gothamist do us all a favor and monitor its comments section for racism, bigotry, anit-semitism, and homophobia? it would make this a much nicer place.
"Ooh, cute baby! Can it suck on my boob for a while?!"
I fail to see how noting something that is just a fact about this person can be called bigotry or whatever.
I think the point i was trying to make is that a lot of times poor people and abandoned babies do this because the mother is too sick to nurse, etc...however the fact that this is a bored housewife who happens to be jewish and white - meaning there is nothing cultural significant about swapping babies that might explain this behavior - just shows that these people are plainly completely f*ucked up, bored, and have nothing to do with their useless bourgie lives.
Weird. And, really, if its a form of breast feeding even the La Leche League disagrees with, it can't be right.
And if the Jewish comment above was the "worst" thing ever on this board, we'd be in a happy place. This Jew doesn't care and actually knows exactly what the poster meant.
I’ve tried Jew breast Milk, but its not as good as Cambodian.
No thanks.
Knowing New Yorkers, there will be a magazine for this on the stands soon that follows the style of swingers and mail order brides catalogues.
While I don't really care either way since it's not my breast but it seems to follow in the tradition of wet nurses and that is still pretty commonly practiced in many places around the world. If it makes the mommies happy who do it, who's to judge?
i had heard about this article last weekend and thought to myself "when would i ever be comfortable doing something like this?" my only answer was "if i were in some crisis situation (like a building collapse or hurricane) and there was a baby that needed to be fed and its mother, nor bottles, nor formula weren't there." last resort kind of thing, you know? otherwise, there's a reason why we don't have wet nurses anymore just like la leche points out.
I know wet nurses are making a comeback in some countries. there are agencies for them.
I think there should be an age limit for wet nurses.
No infant fancies curdled milk.
Ew! Girls are weird.
Okay, #s 7 and 8...
Since this is the Comments section I can break rank and use first person.
I nursed my baby and, no, Jake had no involvement whatsoever.
My nipples explode with delight!
I just had to...
I suppose the Black Mammies had the day off.
Ewwwwwww!
The word "self-indulgent" comes to mind, but so does the word "bored."
ew. breast milk is a bodily fluid. talk about the potential for disease transmission. why dont they just share blood like its nothing
Just had to add to the poll here: back in the day when I had a 4 yr old and a 4 mo old, another mom & I with same age kids switched off volunteering at nursery school and babysitting babies. We both nursed the little ones on our babysitting days. Weird at first but then so much nicer than either expressing or warming up a bottle.
IMHO: the kid w/the teeth didn't need to be nursed by a surrogate; the moms were just experimenting.
"I took him and rearranged my shirt and bra to expose my breast. Skuli sat on the floor, not seeming to think anything weird was going on. I put Lionel on my chest and he began sucking. The familiar tug made the milk rush in; his sucking strength and style were different than Skuli's."
My sucking strength and style is also different. Move over skuli!.
Hmmm. Cross-milking. THere's something so sick about it that I think it turns me on.
Something lost in the comments is the notion that these two women were apparently former lovers (if the comments in the blog cited in the story are to be taken as truth).
So, yes, I think this instance goes beyond wet-nurse status and probably something closer to sponge nurse.
As a prior comment indicated, what is described is called a "wet nurse". The health of humanity has not been harmed by such a traditional practice. The uninformed comments on a practice that was unknown to the author is as competent as not being able to distinguish a cartoon for a bomb.
Why do I get the feeling this is so NOT about the kids?
Oh, and Mags... just having some fun. I'm relieved Jake had nothing to do with it... but probably not as relieved as you are.
Why do I get the feeling this is so NOT about the kids?
Oh, and Mags... just having some fun. I'm relieved Jake had nothing to do with it... but probably not as relieved as you are.
I don't know if I'd consider swinging my baby with a former lesbian lover "bourgie."
Not that this has much to do with anything, but for the record I happen to know that Jennifer Baumgardner is not even the slightest bit Jewish. She's a 100% shiksa midwesterner.
skull is the most metal baby i've ever met.
Hello
You are The Best!!!
Bye