December 15, 2006
Table for One?
Frank Bruni explores the world of the solo diner. And before you jump to conclusions, he's not talking about dining at the bar, which many solo diners find more comfortable, but dining solo at a table in the main dining room. Admittedly, the only time we've done this is when traveling for business as we generally prefer the vibe and sometimes conversation at the bar, but we might just try it one of these days and, based on several of the comments to Bruni's post, we might go upscale to test the waters in terms of VIP treatment.
If anyone out in Gothamist-land has had experiences dining solo in the main dining room of a restaurant, we'd love to hear about it -- good, bad, or otherwise. And for more on dining alone, visit SoloDining.com.
Photo from travelbex's photostream on Flickr.
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I've had great experiences with dining alone. I think it takes a certain amount of confidence, but there's nothing to be embarassed about. In fact, I think it's something to be proud of seeing how most people would rather eat shitty food than dine alone in a good restaurant.
My best experiences were throughout New Orleans in March. I traveled down to volunteer alone. My trip was funded by a former NFL player turned family friend as a result of his love for the city during his few years when he played for the Saints. During the day I was working, so at night I was left with a good chunk of change and a friend who recommended the finest food the city had to offer. So yeah, I went to the best restaurants alone. I got some stares from tables. I guess a woman eating alone was baffling to them.
When I work from home, I often take myself out to lunch alone in my neighborhood. Bring a magazine, people watch, give yourself a reason to get dressed and out of the house instead of skulking around procrastinating in track pants..
I found myself enjoying a long lunch by myself in Italy recently, and the sommelier decided to practive his English with me and we really hit it off. And now we're getting married! OK, I'm just kidding (it seems all "meet cute" stories end that way don't they?), but I did make a new friend that day I wouldn't have made if I'd been with dining with others.
I do it all the time. I never thought it was a big deal. I think people find solo lunchers normal, but a solo dinner girl/guy means there must be something wrong. It's sort of sad that people aren't comfortable being alone, don't you think? I like to go out to eat and if no one's around to come along then why should I stay home? I may not be the perfect person to ask though, since I don't mind traveling alone either.
I like dining alone, especially for brunch. Bring the Sunday Times, get some Eggs Benedict, and you can't go wrong.
I'm a woman and I eat alone in the main dining room quite often, although not typically at the high-end places Bruni is talking about, but I did eat by myself at Union Square Cafe once and felt perfectly comfortable. I don't like to eat at the bar because it's often uncomfortable, cramped and annoying, I'd rather have my own table.
I don't see what the big deal is and I don't care if people feel sorry for me I just ignore them and mind my own business. If I didn't go out alone I'd never get to eat at all of the places I'd like to and enjoy the food and atmosphere. People need to get over it, including Frank Bruni.
I love eating with friends, but eating alone has its own pleasures as well. I will bring a book or sometimes my laptop and sit and absorb my surroundings. It's a good way to people-watch, a personal fave.
I also, and I have no conclusive proof of this, believe the food tastes much better when dining alone. There are no distractions from anyone across the table, i.e. no chatter boxing etc...
I also (sometimes) do the following, alone: watch movies, shower, drive, walk, work, travel, exercise, sleep and surf the net... Who cares what people think. Once you can get over the image of what you think people see about you, then you'll be a much happier person...
Now, leave me alone!
I'm happy to do most things alone, but have only recently ventured into the realm of going out to dinner alone, and I can't say I am much of a fan of it thus far. However, I freely admit that most of the discomfort I can't shake comes from the fact that I am usually the only solo-diner there, and if there were other folks dinning alone I would probably feel worlds more comfortable, just as when I go to cafe's and hang out with myself, which I feel perfectly comfortable and love doing. Another problem, though, is that many restaurants are far too dark to do any reading in, so the time spent waiting for one's food can linger on a bit much.
Holy $hit, is eating alone in a restaurant still a topic of conversation? The only loser is somebody who would even notice.
Heh, I can't get the scene out of my head from that Steve Martin movie, "The Lonely Guy," where he tries to dine alone and there's a spotlight on him, waiters noisily collecting all the other place settings at the table, all the diners going silent and looking at him strangely when he says he's dining alone, etc.
I certainly don't mind dining alone. Your article makes it sound like doing so is such a strange option. I love to travel alone and I'd much rather sit at a table when I go to dinner. But actually, it never crossed my mind to sit at the bar. Maybe I'll have to try it sometime.
Wow, I am with those others who didn't realize dining alone is apparently some kind of aberrant behavior. I do it nearly as frequently as I eat with someone else. I guess it's the introvert's nature not to notice social norms like this.
One thing, though: whenever I eat alone, I feel compelled to have *something* to read, so I usually stop in and buy a paper before walking into a restaurant.
i went to clinton street baking co. for brunch solo one time. it was great because there was this table for one near the cafe section, in the window. but the one chair was positioned so i would be facing the street - or really, facing the 25 people lurking out front for their turn on the list. so i moved the chair to the side of the table, so i'd be facing into the restaurant instead of feeling like i was on display at the zoo. the hostess scolded me, because then the table behind me wouldn't have enough room for their chairs, bla bla bla. it was tight, but she was snippy about it. i ended up having to wait for a "proper" table to open up, which was a bummer. i think since then, the awkward table for 1 has been removed, but i'm not sure.
I've dined alone plenty of times here and on business. While I don't mind eating by myself, I have noticed that the waitstaff tend to pay less attention to you if you're alone (fewer tips), which I don't like. I also feel that, as a woman, I get harassed more if I'm by myself, whether it's at a cafe or restaurant. I ate by myself at this Italian restaurant in the West Village once and the waiter kept flirting with me and trying to convince me to go home with him.
If the person in the photo is supposed to be dining alone, then why is there another glass of water and menu on the table.
These stories about dining alone in New York are silly and small minded. WHO CARES?!!
NOW this is a true NYC related post with great responses. We're alone and we like it.
Or as neil stated in Heat, I'm alone, NOT lonely.
[14]--So which is it? Do the staff not pay enough attention to you or do they harass you?
I'm a waitress at an upscale dining place. Solo diners are rare, but I don't find it strange at all. I enjoy solo'ers because I feel even more responsibility to make their experience a good one, as it will come down to solely the service and food, rather than also being dependent on their company. So i'd say I probably keep an extra eye on solo diners, though, I certainly don't "harass" them.
Ah, another uniquely Western neurosis, the idea that dining alone means something other than dining alone. I like the monks take on solitary silent eating: it gives you a chance to practice mindfulness about your food, where it came from, who made it, how it tastes... in other words, to be there at that moment with the task in front of you.
We need more diners in this town...
when i was in jr high..i refused to go to the mall alone.
i'd hope that everyone in ny is more mature than jr. high nick when it comes to dining.
17, Both have happened, as I stated in my comment. I am glad to hear that you don't treat solo diners any differently, though.
Dear CK the waitress,
I don't think michelle was saying that *all* waitstaff ignored or harassed their customers, as you seem to have assumed. It's just that that's been her experience in restaurants.
When dining alone it seems the staff is more helpful and friendly..and you get to concentrate on the entire experience..people watching is also entertaining.
If you do not want to dine alone maybe someone could come up with a buddy system online..type of food, time, place, etc..
#19, I was and sort of still am like that (no mall alone).#22 good idea. I personally have never and probably never will dine alone. But recently since my eating buddy (AKA GF) is gone, I have been doing tons of take out from "better" (non-fast food) places. Its cheaper (per taste and amount of food), healthier (McDonalds), and leaves you more satisfied than a 3 oz Big Mac and no cash.
I dine alone all the time. Doesn't bother me. I rather prefer it. The only place I ever feel is uncomfortable is at my favorite Thai place, where it says right on the menu "Thais rank dining alone as one of the great misfortunes of life." I guess it is supposed to be a Thai fun fact.
In that case, I can't help but suspect that the whole staff is pitying me.