November 3, 2006
Satire or Stupid to Slam Greenpoint
Haverford graduate, Parks Department project manager, and Greenpoint resident David Langlieb is under fire for writing an essay about his neighborhood in his alumni magazine. According to the Daily News, the essay, ripe with complaints about the old-school Polish residents and self-deprecation about not being an Ivy League graduate, has incensed the Polish American Congress and Councilman David Yassky, who said, "my eyes pretty much popped out of my head when I read this."
Here's a good chunk of the essay "Moved to Speak" in the Haverford alumni mag:
Communities like Greenpoint are a dying breed in America, and thank God for that. Try ordering a Venti Caramel Macchiato at the Franklin Street “coffee shop” and you’ll see what I mean. While the community has several problems, most of them come back to the high density of Polish people infesting its rowhouses. Mocking Poles for being stupid is perhaps the last form of politically correct prejudice, as well as the most accurate. The other day I asked a local Polak shopkeeper if he’d heard the one about the Polish guy who tried to fill up his gas tank by driving the car in reverse. The shopkeeper didn’t respond because he’d accidentally put his pants on his head that morning and the waistband was cutting off his hearing.Langlieb tells the Daily News, "This was aimed at certain Haverford graduates who move into cohesive communities with little interest in giving back to those communities." (His mother adds that Polish-Jewish relatives died during the Holcaust.) It seems like satire, but is an alumni magazine a place for it? If you didn't know anything about Greenpoint and read the essay, you might think anyone who lived there was crazy. What do you think?I’m kidding, of course, but Greenpoint’s problems are no laughing matter, and they won’t be solved by teaching the locals how to wear pants. The Greenpoint business district, for example, is even uglier than the morons who work there. Shoddy hand-made signage pollutes the storefront windows, and some of the signs aren’t even in English. A friendly corporate logo or two would do wonders for the place. The good news is that it looks like they’re opening a Blimpie on Calyer Street, where Ula’s Deli used to reside. I’m not sure what they’re doing with Ula, but maybe if she promises to clean her ears once in awhile they’ll let her work the cash register.
...
Not to toot my own horn, but I’ve done wonders for the community. My non-ethnic whiteness, above average hygiene, and dependable income have already attracted new investments to Greenpoint. Private developers are within months of breaking ground on a massive high-rise condominium complex on the Greenpoint waterfront. There’ll be a rooftop pool, a fitness center, and gorgeous views of the Manhattan skyline from across the East River. It’s not quite perfect—a small percentage of the apartments will go to low-income families—but nine tenths of a loaf is better than none.One thing I do worry about is that Greenpoint will gentrify incorrectly. This is what’s happening in adjacent Williamsburg, where the Hasidic Jews are being displaced by hipsters. Sure, their parents give them enough money to keep the neighborhood looking decent, but the new population is almost as annoying as the old one. And yes, they do wear suits and ties sometimes, but only to be ironic. No thank you.
I’d hate to see that happen to Greenpoint, because it has so much potential. It’s a place I’d like to raise my kids: Within a stone’s throw of Manhattan, amidst lawyers and investment bankers, and as shut off from civil society as humanly possible. I dream of a Greenpoint where Banana Republic is open all night, where groceries are ordered over the Internet, and where the churches are converted to mixed-use parking facilities. Mine is a Greenpoint of the future, sensitive to the desires of its residents who so desperately need a racquet club and driving range. Or who will, anyway, after the vermin are gone.
So join me, my fellow Greenpointians. That is, if you’re literate enough to understand what I’ve written.
Oh, and the Parks Department says Langlieb's views "do not reflect the views of the agency."
Photograph of the Greenpoint Blimpie by Tien Mao
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What the hell is Haverford!?!?
This HAS to be satire. it must be. It's in bad taste regardless, but I can't believe any higher education institution would publish it if it weren't.
You'd have to be pretty damn stupid not to realize this was satire. "My non-ethnic whiteness, above average hygiene, and dependable income have already attracted new investments to Greenpoint." Oh right - he's totally serious.
How could anyone could possibly construe that as something other than satire?
that's pretty funny and loaded with irony and sarcasm. is jen chung part polish?
I'm a Polak and even I knew that shit was satire. ;]
Whether or not it's satire, that's very funny.
The black car in this blog is a Pontiac Vibe. It is built with the same chassey as the Toyota, Matrix. It is also built on the same platform as the Toyota. I like it better then the Toyota because of the body molding.
It has the same engine, tires, same horse power, torch, same secret compartments in flat bed area when converted from seat to cargo, same versatiltiy. Front passenger seat folds down into a flat table. It has a 100W outlet for a lap top
in the front dash. The Pontiac, generally, always comes with a sunroof and roof rack, nets for groceries and tools. It should come with 100,000 mile warranty like the Toyota also.
It is a very nice car and can run you anywhere from $15k base to $24k fully loaded.
He's trying to be like Borat is to Jews -- totally racist to show how stupid it is. Sadly, he's not nearly as funny. That pants around the head joke is just weak.
"A friendly corporate logo or two would do wonders for the place."
hilarious!
Sorry kids, but it's not funny. He's masking his hate and calling it satire. I'm all for poking fun, but this is clearly hateful, plain and simple.
"Mocking Poles for being stupid is perhaps the last form of politically correct prejudice"??
(sigh)
I'm Polish (among other things) and I don't care for this type of Satire, aimed at me or other groups. It's way over the Top.
On the Plus side, he obviously never wants to enter politics...
Haverford is one of the top liberal arts colleges in the country. When the US News list comes out, they usually split it into National Universities and Liberal Arts College. Princeton, Harvard, and Yale topped the former. William, Amherst, and Swarthmore topped the latter. Haverford was number nine. It is located in Haverford, PA off of the Main Line outside of Philadelphia. Students can also take classes at Bryn Mawr and Penn.
Silly New Yorkers! It's only satire when you make fun of Christians and Conservatives! With enough bullying of anyone that thinks differently from us we can make this city as politically diverse as Cuba!
One more thing:
Pontiac always offers great rebates. Usually, you have the choice between a $1,000 college first time car buyer rebate, in addition to a $2,000, dealer rebate inscentive, or 0% financing over 3 or 4yrs. Don't forget to negotiate a little of the price before you ask about the rebates. Check it out.
" (His mother adds that Polish-Jewish relatives died during the Holcaust.)"
Why do people always seem to pull the Holocaust card out of the deck when they're being stupid? We all come from a long line of dead people - does that mean we get immunity from being called on our bullshit?
It scares the hell out of me that there are people so afraid of offending others, that they're willing to stifle social commentary by not recognizing the value of satire as a viable medium.
If you want to ask whether or not it was "right" to run the article in an alumni magazine, that's a question to take up with the publication's editor.
Now, who's going to see the Borat movie tonight?
Sorry kids, but it's not funny. He's masking his hate and calling it satire. I'm all for poking fun, but this is clearly hateful, plain and simple.
Look everyone! Bo can read minds!
THIS GUY IS A COCKFACE. SATIRE OR NOT...HOMEY ISNT FUNNY, ISNT SMART AND DESERVES TO BE KICKED IN THE CHEST.
WATCH YO BACK DAVE.
If you don't get the satire in this piece, then you're probably offended way too much and hate life. Yeesh.
It's pathetic that David Yassky (the local councilman) failed to recognize this as satire.
He's just a stupid parkie.
"Mocking Poles for being stupid is perhaps the last form of politically correct prejudice"
Actually, that's untrue. Making fun of fat people is the last form of politically correct prejudice.
I went to school with the guy and lived with his (Polish) roommate for a time.
If you want to know what I think, read my blog, because commenting is for pussies.
http://justsayin2000.blogspot.com
Langlieb was satirizing Greenpoint?
Hey, the guy's employed as a "Parks Department project manager." It seems to me that that job alone would provide him with innumerable situations to satire.
This was a really funny piece of satire the first time I read it in the Onion a few months ago:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/51852
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HA.
As a current resident of Greenpoint, I certainly took offense to his article. While I can see how he may have intended for this to be satire, it was poorly executed as such and ended up sounding self-righteous, over-privileged, and insulting. In fact, the first few paragraphs made me want to kick him in his baby maker.
He may not have been serious, and this may have only been for an alumni magazine, but published writing should be able to transcend any specific medium. If you're going to write a satire that could possibly offend people, make sure it's done well and is clearly that, a satire. Otherwise, don't be shocked when you piss way too many people off and cause an uproar.
Satire. To assume anything else is moronic. This post in and of itself is moronic. Talk about creating something out of nothing.
I think one of the main problems with the piece, aside from the general suckage, is that it is unclear *what* his target actually is. He seems to think satire = writing random "funny" stuff.
Thus, I don't think it's that unreasonable that Yassky thought the target was his constituents.
Maybe it's really a brilliant satire of people who spend a fortune on a private liberal-arts education and still have no talent. You know, kind of like "Wake Up, Sir," but more conceptual.
Isn't this more of a RANT than satire?
This is you get voting for Bloomberg, MORE transplants. We even have Transplants in the mayoral administration.
yeah it's satire, but it's also moronic and unfunny. i'm sick of reading shit that criticizes gentrification, corporate culture, etc. but that's written by people who probably work in a corporate or new media job, make 90k, and move to places like greenpoint themselves.....yeah i'm not a big fan of gentrification either, but unless you were already a part of the LES, or greenpoint, or williamsburg communities before they blew up...stop complaining!
Folks, the satire is completely obvious. It may be bad satire -- that's governed by your sense of aesthetics -- but that it is satire seems self-evident. I'm amazed that some of you can't see that.
I wonder what would have happened if this article was written about a black/hispanic/jewish neighbourhood/community....
I wonder how many of you would have found this article hilarious/satirical/amusing....
Perhaps the author knows nothing about Polish hertitage and history....e.g. the second oldest university in Europe is located in Poland, it was the first country in Europe to allow Jews to work and practise their religion freely, Poland has the second constitution in the world, etc...
Calling something 'satire' doesn't excuse being crass and obnoxious. Pity. I would have figured Haverford would have had some standards.
Langlieb's satire of Greenpoint seems more like a satire [unintented] of himself.
[unintended]
The question of it being satire or not is irrelevant. There is no good place for this mentality anywhere.
There is a lot of truth behind a joke. Some people hide their truth behind a smile or a joke.
The guy writing the satire doesn't like the way the polish people think. He doesn't like the customer service he expects. More importantly, he doesn't like the direction the neighborhood is going. He satire is ugly. His honesty speaks loudly to me.
It didn't take much for Hitler to start blaming Jews, Gypsies, Gay people, non Christians for his failure and unhappiness in life.
The reason Adolf Hitler wanted to exterminate the Jews is not fathomable. There were many Jews and non Jews who raised the standard of intelligence to the level that guys like Hitler couldn't meet. Hitler wasn't very bright. I am sure that there were many other Germans and German Jews that could not meet the standards either. Hitler also, thought that the economy of Germany was controlled by Jewish businessmen. Hitler couldn't get into his choice of schools. For that, he couldn't become an architect. He didn't have the talent or skill to become an artist. He wouldn't have made it into the military had it not been for his father. He found himself close to becoming Germany's biggest loser. He hung out with pimps and prostitutes. Which is probably where he started with his "satire" and propaganda , his quest to take over the world. He started with people saying it was no big deal. He is not serious.
With the help of people saying Hitler wasn't serious or it is only "satire," he took his power of persuasion to as many Europeans that would listen. And boy did he make an impact.
Langlieb's story reminds me of the kid who wore the Hitler costume to school on Halloween. Both cases involved something that was written/done with harmless intent, and both were interpreted in a much worse manner. Most importantly, however, both Langlieb and the boy (and the boy's parents) should have realized that the words or actions would likely - and quite reasonably - be misinterpreted and offend many people.
I'm gonna be a loser and repeat myself, here, because I'm amazed that "the satire is completely obvious" keeps popping up. From my understanding, satire is a form of criticism. It has a target. Something can be satire, and yet one might still object to it as an unfair form of criticism. (For example, I thought that the "operation get-behind-the-darkies" joke in the South Park movie was unfair.)
Pretty much, the Polish jokes in the piece make no sense. They don't fit in with the overall thrust, which is (apparently) a satire of transplants and their gentrifyin' desires.
Thus, some people would see them as an attack, as an actual satire (or humorous and ironic criticism of) the people of Greenpoint.
satire is fine. but this is not the venue for satire. print this shit (it's not all that funny and a poor attempt on mocking gentrification) on your blog or in the onion or anywhere where that is clear. a university alumni magazine with your president on the cover isn't exactly the venue for "satire". dumb kid. poor school president. i'm sure he already regrets it. i mean, look at him -> http://students.haverford.edu/rfeuer/Photos/EmilyParty/Langlieb.JPG
this word "satire" is being dallied around as much as the word "PC" as a catch-all phrase when it comes to disagreements in opinion.
I too, didn't get the Polish joke regarding wearing pants on one's head.
He looks like a punk ass.
Don't quit your day job, Dave.
Unless the Parks Department has done that for you (I half expected their comment to be "the comments of our former employee do not reflect...").
On the other hand, you could apply for the John Kerry Chair in the Department of Wacky Comedy at Haverford College.
Satire is the use of humor to make a point. Implicit in this is that humor should be funny.
"The reason Adolf Hitler wanted to exterminate the Jews is not fathomable. "
WHOOOOOOAH.
godwin has a law for a reason, dude. (i.e. people do not know shit about world war 2, for starters; plus the whole devolution of anything into nazi nazi nazi, natch. or is that natch-zi?)
dhex:
Might have known the "WHOOOOOOAH" was you.
Try literacy. It helps other people understand
you when you are speaking in tongues.
I have read your other threads on other blogs.
The world can not help your ignorance. Only you
can fix it. Go read a book. The Gothamist page
is not for those who can not comprehend
simplicity and the basics.
"Which is probably where he started with his "satire" and propaganda , his quest to take over the world."
Wow - and I thought people took Jonathan Swift too seriously
dhex said "(i.e. people do not know shit about world war 2...,"
Hey, dhex, some people don't know shit about anything....
Sure, if it’s a satire then you must be racist! Get David Langlieb out of Greenpoint now as he does not deserve to live here.
dhex:
I actually prefer Nahr-zee, like Sean Connery used to say it.
But your point is well-taken. It's the simple political calculus that inspired Mein Kampf and the Holocaust that makes them so terrifying:
Lie big/find a scapegoat/make the other scary. Next thing you know you're invading Poland (you thought I was going to say Iraq didn't you?).
"The Gothamist page
is not for those who can not comprehend
simplicity and the basics."
No, it is only for those who cannot spell.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
..... and irritated BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA people would are too inverted and bent to make a valid point.
Please translate BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
TIM N: do you have any reality to share?
"...like Sean Connery used to say it"
Is your
perspective based on Hollywood or Broadway?
Wow - Gee Jlsfro: I think it is similar to invading another country to make room for democracy. "Taking over the world for the sake of safety, love, peace and don't for get democracy, preserving a way of life...etc.
Gee, I thought people understood Jonathan Swift.
While I can see how he may have intended for this to be satire, it was poorly executed as such and ended up sounding self-righteous, over-privileged, and insulting.
Yes, by gosh, it's almost as if it was meant to be a satire of someone self-righteous, over-privileged, and insulting.
I am offically confused :(
what i think he regrets is that choice of shirt!
"I am offically confused :("
Jlsfro : You are the only person surprised by your confusion. Don't worry. 80% of the people on the blog don't care and the other 20% are glad for your confusion.
Reality cop...
Check out Goldfinger and/or Temple of Doom.
I guess that's one Hollywood and one... West End?
Something tells me we're drifting off the subject.
http://justsayin2000.blogspot.com/2006/11/last-word.html
All's I'm sayin is I know the guy. Sayin.
The "satire" has been pulled off the Haverford Web site, by the way.
Haverford removed the article. Google's cache:
http://72.14.209.104/search?q=cache:Pb-G_prt5uQJ:www.haverford.edu/publications/Fall%252006/moved.htm+haverford+langlieb+brooklyn&hl=en&lr=&strip=0
Ohhhh...HAVERFORD? Ooops, i kept reading that as HARVARD, so it did make me a little worried about his opinion. Now that i know that he went to Haverford (teehee!), i'm not that worried. Seriously though, I was hoping he was at least good looking (besides being Polish and blonde, I'm also very shallow), which would totally excuse his unfunny, belligerent, non-satire. But, unfortunately, not only is he a douchebag, he's an ugly douchebag. Oh well!! * LOL, just KIDDING! *
Telling ethnic jokes is one of very few ways trailer trash, such as Langlieb, can use to forget about being at the bottom.
It's pathetic. Stupid parkie who needed to draw attention. He's just not capable to offend me.