December 6, 2004
First Date Jitters
I’m going on a first date with someone tomorrow, and I’m really nervous. I like him and want to make a good first impression, but I’m afraid I’ll clam up and not talk enough, or chatter on nervously or somehow make a fool of myself. What can I do to make it through the evening without torturing myself and/or scaring my date off?
First dates can be fun, but of course they can also nerve-wracking. Ask Gothamist advises you to try to relax, be yourself, and have fun. That said, we do have a few tips for first-time daters:
- If your first date doesn’t involve dinner but might involve having a drink, make sure to eat first. There’s nothing worse than having a drink suddenly hit you hard because you’ve been drinking on an empty stomach.
- We advise women to go easy on the makeup, and both men and women should make sure not to overdo it in the scent department. Take it from us - overwhelming perfume or cologne is really distracting and annoying.
- Do make sure to brush and floss and carry mints or gum with you. You never know, you might end up smooching.
- And while we’re at it in the ‘you never know’ department, carry condoms, too.
- Remember to be polite, and don’t get freaked out if your date displays good manners (if your date holds a door open for you, don’t analyze what it means, just say thank you).
- Bring cash with you and never assume the other person will be paying for everything. Have enough cash to take a cab home in case you need to make a quick escape.
- Don’t badmouth your ex.
- Don’t wear uncomfortable clothing or any clothing that has the potential to do strange things unexpectedly, like low-cut tops that could reveal too much when you lean forward.
-Make sure to show up on time.
As far as talking too much or too little, hopefully you’ll have enough in common and will both have enough conversational skills to keep things flowing smoothly. We know we tend to talk too much when nervous - if you find yourself doing all the talking, try to ask your date open-ended questions to give him a chance to talk for a while. And we think there is nothing wrong with following up the next day with a quick phone call or e-mail to say you had a nice time. Have fun!




Good points, especially the "don't over-analyze":
- Try to find some easy to talk about topic early on in your conversation, so you can riff on it later (does you date like TV? Talk about TV shows you like - but be open if his/her taste isn't anything like yours)
- If you hit a lull in the conversation, ask questions. Pretend you're a detective or a reporter!
- Have an out; either have a friend call you or state at the beginning of the evening that you need to get home because you've got an early work meeting
"- And while we’re at it in the ‘you never know’ department, carry condoms, too."
Have to disagree with this one. Safe sex is good, but a girl packing rubbers on the first date would give me pause.
I wouldn't carry condoms with me (and I wouldn't want a guy to be holding either), but I'd check my supply before I left home. That's a general single-person note: always have condoms in the bedside drawer.
If you can carry condoms discreetly, and if you're the type of person that enjoys sex, then by all means do have one available.
It's tougher to bring the fuzzy handcuffs along, though.
Be sure to read the NY Times that day -- or at least scan the headlines. Current events will give you timely topics to chat about. Being unaware of current events can make you come off as clueless.
What about just being yourself?! Granted I've been with the same girl the last 4 years and haven't had any first dates in between. But what's the point of studying up or staging a performance when the truth will only hit later? If it's a question of a quick lay however, that's a different story.
Giving him a good blow-job will always ensure that he thinks about you in a positive fashion.
If you make this "step one", you can let all the other rules mentioned about slide a bit.
YES re the light-on-scent tip ... way too many men wear way too much cologne (though any cologne is too much in my view).
ok, maybe im naive here, but what is there to "over-analyze" about good manners? is there some negative connotation to good manners i am not aware of?