January 21, 2004
Whole Foods at Time Warner

The new Whole Foods opening at the Time Warner Center will be the biggest grocery store in Manhattan at 60,000 square feet. A tip to the Whole Foods people for your success: Clone Bill Jones from your Chelsea store. Jones is, perhaps, the only Whole Foods employee to provoke swoons or excitement in customers when he booms, "Number ten is yours!" and directs people to the proper register. Jones was also featured in the New York Times and get written up by the New Yorker in the Talk of the Town, which might be one feature too many in TMFTML's opinion. But you can see our point: Good employees help. You'll need lots of them to wrangles shoppers if they're anything like the crazy shopping cart wielding seniors or general psychos at Fairway (oh, Fairway, we do love you; we just need to take a Valium afterwards).
The Times is excited about the soon-to-be opened restaurants at the Time Warner Center.




Too bad ol' Bill hasn't been doing his line calling gig for at least a month or two now. He used to usher me to a register almost everyday around lunch, and now we're given a motley crue of n'er-do-wells who manage to fuck it up more often than you'd think possible.
Unless mine eyes deceived me, I believe there's a Whole Foods opening in the former Bradlees (ugh) on the south side of Union Square, too.
I highly recommend the whole food's organic truffles... I had about 10 today..
If you are ever in LA you must go to the Whole Foods in Sherman Oaks -- where you will meet LA's favorite Whole Foods employee ROCKY who will bark 'DID YOU FIND EVERYTHING OKAY TODAY, SIR!' regardless of whether you are male or female. Once you get over being afraid of her, you will come to love her.
Bill Jones is alive and well at the Time Warner Center. I saw him working the line at Whole Foods this afternoon, looking tan.
I have moved to the escalators at the Whole Foods Market in the Time Warner Center as the stores greeter/answerman.---Bill Jones